The Last Lesson I Learned From My Daughter in 2016

Towards the end of December my mother sent my daughter $150. 


Aysia wanted to use it to get something called An American Girl Doll. I never heard of such a thing, so together we looked it up on Amazon. 

I saw the price, around $150, and I freaked out in the form of an unsolicited lecture. You know, the kind children automatically tune out.

I told her I would not allow her to spend her money on such a thing, and started lecturing her on the trappings of status. She could get a doll for $25 and have just as much fun with it. It's the imagination we bring to playing with a doll, or with anything, that makes it fun.

I thought I was steering her to the high road, turning her away from the trappings of materialism.

But I was throwing a wet blanket on something innocent and sweet.

And she wasn’t buying the lecture.

In fact, I could feel her deflating, withdrawing, going inside herself.


I knew there was a high road here, and it was I who veered off it.

After I took her to school I had a walk with a friend and we talked about how I could have had an open mind and asked Aysia questions about what she would like to do with the doll. I could have celebrated her desire, instead of putting my foot down and laying down the law with a “Bah, Humbug” attitude.

And it was, after all, ‘her’ money, not mine.
 
Our desires, unless we are seeking to hurt others, are expressions of our innocence. Desires are our Life Force, seeking to play and create and expand.

Make our desires wrong, or make ourselves wrong for having them, and we cast ourselves right out of the garden into the desert of unworthiness.

I felt a flush of regret about how I treated her.  

And relief, because I got the lesson. 

I still wasn’t clear about letting her get the doll, but I was clear that from now on, whenever Aysia expressed a desire, I would do my best to celebrate it with her without making her wrong for wanting it.
 
When I picked Aysia up from school I told her how sorry I was for the way that I had talked to her, and asked for her forgiveness.

Aysia and I went straight from school to meeting two of her friends in town. We were all strolling down a street on our way to play in a park when Aysia spotted an American Girl doll in a store window. It was slightly used, and priced at $75. 

Aysia was drooling with desire. She looked at me with puppy eyes, and her "Please?" was the purest, sweetest request I had ever heard.

But she, as all eight year old's, knows exactly how to turn on the charm and manipulate with her cuteness.

I did not want to be silly putty wrapped around her finger.

I checked in, and heard a resounding yes from my heart’s wisdom.

We went to the park and Aysia and her two girlfriends proceeded to play with the doll, dress her, comb her hair, and name her. I witnessed such joy in their process. And felt so good about it.

It was as if a part of me, all intellectual and grumpy, had a change of heart, softening and opening. The Grinch that almost stole my daughter’s Christmas grew up a bit that day. And my heart grew a size or two in the process.

Since then I have watched her create a world with Sabrina, her doll. Her mothering instincts and talents have come out to play. She nurtures and cares for her.

Sometimes there are naps. “Shhh, Daddy, Sabrina is sleeping.”

We have a new member of the family.




Now I Know What It Feels Like to Receive A Song!

Last week two sisters hired me to do a Song Portrait for their mother’s birthday. Nothing unusual about that. But as I was creating it, the music of the song I was writing started sounding like the opening number from Guys and Dolls, “I’ve Got The Horse Right Here.” Although I doubted it, my guidance was clearly moving me in that direction. It turned out, that show tune was one of their mother’s favorites.

The sisters reported back to me that she was over the moon about her song.

Then, I got quite a surprise when their mother and father created a video and a song of their own to thank me. Now I know how it feels to be serenaded! Take a look and a listen here

And they all gave me permission to share their Song Portrait as well:  Birthday Song Portrait For Evy

 
You Deserve a Happy New You Song!

The beginning of the year is a great time to have a Selfie Song Portrait to help keep you on track for 2017. I call it a Happy New You Song. The subject matter is you, your goals, your power to manifest, and what you need to remember to stay focused on your passion, your well being, and the fullness and richness already in your life. A song is a great way to keep your focus off of what you seem to lack, and keep it on what makes you feel excited, hopeful, and grateful. Email me at scott@scottsongs.com if interested.

 Hawaii in February

My dear friends Joyce and Barry Vissell, who have been writing books, leading retreats, and helping couples build relationship skills for forty years are bringing me with them this February 5-12  to provide music for their Hawaii Couples retreat, which is both a vacation and a workshop. From their website:  During these 7 days on the Big Island of Hawaii, you will not only open to more love and connection than you thought possible, but you will have enough time to integrate these positive changes into your lives back home. We focus on seeing our partner with new eyes, healing dysfunctional patterns, communication of feelings, enhancing the sexual relationship, and practicing loving appreciation. We have couple yoga and meditations, inspiring music, laughter and thrilling sight-seeing – in short, an extraordinary heart-opening experience for you and your partner in the presence of dolphins, whales, giant sea turtles, a beautiful black sand beach, the nearby lava flow, steam vents, delightful snorkeling, and thermal warm ponds.

Click Here to find out more