Monday, December 7, 2015
Coming Home to Yourself For The Holidays
Welcome to these here holidays, the season of light.
The last few years I’ve had several dark Decembers, heart hurting, struggling emotionally to get through the holidays. You could say the grinch (my ego) has stolen Christmas.
And I know I am not alone in feeling down this time of year. The holidays amplify any shadows that have not yet been brought to the light.
My daughter is going to be with her mother for a week this Christmas. Last year they were in Germany for a few weeks, and being away from my darling daughter for the holidays triggered some pretty painful stuff. I got through it, but getting through it (surviving) is not what I am after.
This year I’d like to reach out to others who might be having a difficult time of year as well. I’d like to hold hands with a tribe of people and join together in not just getting though it, but in being our best and brightest selves during this season of light. Or at least having a more consistent sense of humor. Gosh, sometimes that’s the best I can do.
If you are prone to holiday blues, grief, loneliness, self-pity, or the stress of trying to please everyone, or just the madness and overwhelm that might come from being with relatives that push your buttons, I would like to support you this year.
I am introducing, drum roll, please, a seven day support system called:
Coming Home To Yourself For The Holidays
It’s designed to help you not just go through the holidays, but to grow through them, and maybe even glow through them.
If you join, from December 19 through December 25th you will get a love note from me about a particular issue that we deal with during the holidays, something you can and will relate to.
I will also create and compose healing songs, and also make tapping videos to help deal with and maybe even clear the issues. I will be going all out to support you. We will go through a week of life together.
The issues I will address? You tell me. When you sign up for the course you are welcome to write in and tell me what you go through this time of year. Loneliness, self judgement, self pity, dealing with relatives, missing family, longing for a mate, trying to please everybody you love and falling short, general stress, emotional overwhelm?
What’s on your plate?
The more personal you get with me, the more personal support you will receive.
Some of my writings and videos will be inspired by what I am going through, and others will come directly from your sharings and requests. I will keep your name out of it and everything you share with me will be confidential.
If you join the program, it is suggested that you send me a paragraph or two about what you find hardest about the holiday season, and what you believe you need to release and come to peace with to have more peace and maybe even some Holiday Cheer for these here holidays.
Here are the logistics and finances.
I have been guided to open this up for ten people. No more. This is not McDonalds. I want to offer you some gourmet support, not fast food.
You can join the program for $100 and get all the videos, EFT tapping and songs and essays. I will pour my heart out to you for seven days. That’s the minimum entry level.
For $200 you will also receive a private and personal coaching session with me over the phone, FaceTime or Skype, complete with EFT tapping and a custom made song channeled just for you. Both the tapping and the song will be recorded by me and emailed to you promptly after the session. I would suggest that the healing session be early in the week, between Dec 19th and the 22nd.
Or, if you want even more support, if you are super intent on using this season as an opportunity for healing, for $300 you would get the program, plus two coaching sessions. And that second coaching session can be on Christmas Eve day or Christmas. If Santa is working hard on those days, so can I.
One more level. We can speak and/or email as much as once a day for that time period for $500. Basically, at that level I am your personal holiday healer and coach the way some folks have a personal chef. For seven days you will have me as your personal healing chef…..
My number one commitment this year is being a compassionate and caring guide for those whom, like I have, find the holidays extra challenging and painful.
There is no reason to feel alone and unsupported. Help is available. I am available.
This is what I do best, assisting people who are working with issues I am in the process of getting through. As A Course in Miracles says, “You teach what you need to learn.” We teach and learn together. I am no guru, but those of you who have had a session with me know that I am quite gifted at tuning in to a person, listening with a caring and compassionate heart,, and saying just the ‘right’ things to help the healing process along. I don’t offer quick fixes or dogmatic cliches, but I do do my best to ‘get’ you as a unique human being, and reflect back to you how lovable and capable you are at being you.
You can sign up for Coming Home To Yourself For The Holidays at whatever level you desire by sending $100, $200, $300 or $500 to my Pay Pal account, scott@scottsongs.com
You can also pay by sending a check via snail mail to Scott Grace, 162 Forrest Avenue, Fairfax, CA, 94930. Let me know when the check is in the mail.
Or you can use plastic. To pay with a card email me at scott@scottsongs.com and I’ll let you know how to do that.
Most folks tend to isolate and white knuckle it during the holidays. And eat tons of food to dull the pain. Getting support is an unusual thing to do. It takes courage. It’s the road less traveled.
The moment you make a decision to do something like this, the healing begins. When you invest money in yourself and write that little essay about what comes up for you this time of year and what you are wanting support for, you will be saying to the universe, “I am ready for a deep healing this year.” And the healing will begin. Stuff will come up. And instead of just enduring it, you might just find yourself resolving it.
If there is a way I can hold your hand for these seven days and help you move forward, I will. That’s my commitment to you. What’s yours?
With Love,
Scott Grace
www.scottsongs.com
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Creating A World with Less and Less Bullying
At my daughter’s school last week I was invited to sign a petition speaking and standing up against bullying. I did.
Then I went home and wondered what Mother Theresa would do. She was once invited to speak at an anti-war demonstration and declined, saying, “If you have a pro-peace rally, I would be glad to support it.”
So if I am anti-bullying, what am I for?
Then I went down the rabbit hole a little further, remembering that the outside world can only reflect what is already going on inside me. Am I ever a bully? Where is that energy, that approach, living inside me?
And what came up was that I am very good and steeped at bullying…myself! Ouch, but true.
When I judge myself as weak, too sensitive, or failing in some way, I sometime shame and blame and beat myself up… just like a bully would, preying upon those in the schoolyard that might be perceived as weak or extra sensitive. I don’t used fists, but the verbal assaults on my dignity and self-respect are just as violent, and hurt just as much, if not more. I belittle myself, and then feel quite little. I stop holding, and start scolding myself. To punish is to make one feel puny. Punishing self with shame puts me in my place, or at least the place my ego thinks I belong in. It's a small, painful and quite familiar little place that I huddle in the darkness in.
So, in order to step out of that place and into the light and take another step in learning to love myself, I recently created a round of tapping to release that old habit and replace it with a far more gentle way of being with myself. It’s here:
Healing Your Self-Bullying
Please tap along. You will feel more love, and you will be doing your part to help create a world with less and less bullying, a world where gentleness is celebrated and seen as strength, not weakness.
People bully because they have been treated that way themselves, and are trying to feel better, to re-connect with their own personal power. You will notice in this tapping round that I spend some time and attention on loving and nurturing the bully. It does not work to shame the part of you that is shaming. To judge a part of you as bad or unwanted creates more divisiveness and pain. Love unites, and only love heals. Let's give some AND get some:
Healing Your Self-Bullying
I LOVE YOU,
Scott
Scott Grace is the Spiritual Dr. Seuss for adults. His YouTubes, which have received over 2.5 million views, can be enjoyed at: https://www.youtube.com/user/skalechstein
Then I went home and wondered what Mother Theresa would do. She was once invited to speak at an anti-war demonstration and declined, saying, “If you have a pro-peace rally, I would be glad to support it.”
So if I am anti-bullying, what am I for?
Then I went down the rabbit hole a little further, remembering that the outside world can only reflect what is already going on inside me. Am I ever a bully? Where is that energy, that approach, living inside me?
And what came up was that I am very good and steeped at bullying…myself! Ouch, but true.
When I judge myself as weak, too sensitive, or failing in some way, I sometime shame and blame and beat myself up… just like a bully would, preying upon those in the schoolyard that might be perceived as weak or extra sensitive. I don’t used fists, but the verbal assaults on my dignity and self-respect are just as violent, and hurt just as much, if not more. I belittle myself, and then feel quite little. I stop holding, and start scolding myself. To punish is to make one feel puny. Punishing self with shame puts me in my place, or at least the place my ego thinks I belong in. It's a small, painful and quite familiar little place that I huddle in the darkness in.
So, in order to step out of that place and into the light and take another step in learning to love myself, I recently created a round of tapping to release that old habit and replace it with a far more gentle way of being with myself. It’s here:
Healing Your Self-Bullying
Please tap along. You will feel more love, and you will be doing your part to help create a world with less and less bullying, a world where gentleness is celebrated and seen as strength, not weakness.
People bully because they have been treated that way themselves, and are trying to feel better, to re-connect with their own personal power. You will notice in this tapping round that I spend some time and attention on loving and nurturing the bully. It does not work to shame the part of you that is shaming. To judge a part of you as bad or unwanted creates more divisiveness and pain. Love unites, and only love heals. Let's give some AND get some:
Healing Your Self-Bullying
I LOVE YOU,
Scott
Scott Grace is the Spiritual Dr. Seuss for adults. His YouTubes, which have received over 2.5 million views, can be enjoyed at: https://www.youtube.com/user/skalechstein
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Life Is Not a Serious Business - Lightening Up with Scott Grace
That's me and my daughter being our true selves. It's so freeing to not be hiding behind a mask of seriousness.
Today's post is a small treat, short and sweet. Nothing heavy here. It's more of an appetizer than an entree, easy to digest, and it goes down light. I am pairing it with a YouTube that is anything but dry, a sweet and silly song I recorded in 1989 called Life Is Not a Serious Business.
1989, as I am sure you connoisseurs are aware of, was a great year for ScottSongs.
Drink in the song. And now, if you are appropriately tipsy, you are ready to nibble on the article.
Life Is Not A Serious Business
By Scott Grace
"Why do dolphins leap joyful from the sea? Why do the morning birds sing? Why does the earth dance in trees and reach forests to the sun? Why do children play? This is a recreational universe. When you remember the play that lifted your heart as a child, you will know the heart of God."
-Ken Carey, The Third Millennium
The first time my daughter played a practical joke on me she was six months old. I was sitting her up on the bed and asking her to hold her arms high so I could put a shirt on her. Just as I was about to get the shirt over her head she suddenly fell back on the bed and had a giggle-fest. She repeated this six times, and each time I pretended I was fooled again and joined her in the giggling.
Kids have a great sense of humor. They just sense... the humor. In the name of growing up, we might feel obliged to teach them some seriousness, but, for God’s sake, let's let them teach us some lightness along the way.
Aysia and I used to play a game. She would wear a certain hat that she called the Name Change Hat. When she wore it, she wielded the power to change names. I would bring her stuffed animals and dolls to her feet as if she was royalty. And then I would pretend to be the stuffy, saying something like: "Oh, I am so excited to finally meet you. I heard you have the power to grant me the perfect new name. Might you? Folks call me Froggy, and I’m tired of it.”
The Name Change Girl would speak in a commanding tone of authority, as if all beings were under her rule: "You are no longer Froggy. Your new name is Groovy Green Thing!”
And I (as the frog) would happily hop away, profusely sputtering out thanks, insanely thrilled about my new name. Then the next animal approached her throne. And the next.
We forgot about that game for awhile and then one day early this year I remembered. We were at a hippie dippy health food restaurant in Santa Cruz, one in which people actually talked to strangers, and I took out the hat. “Remember this, Aysia? Remember the name change hat?” “Of course, Daddy.” Then I walked over to a lively couple sitting at a table near us and whispered, “Would you be willing to do something that would make my daughter’s day?” I explained what I had in mind, and they agreed.
About ten minutes went by, and then one of the women came over to us and said to Aysia, "Aren’t you the Name Change Girl? And isn’t that the Name Change Hat? Might you be willing to give me a new name? I’ve been looking all over for you. I’m so ready!”
Aysia put on the hat and did her magic. Then her partner got in on the action. Both women poured on the excitement and gratitude as if the new names were new cars. I had stumbled upon a couple that were naturally skilled at theatre improvisation. They played it beautifully. Aysia had a huge smile on her face, and asked me if we could do more.
So we did.
We traveled from table to table, inviting children and some adults to get a new name. Almost everyone played along and enjoyed themselves. We left the restaurant giddy with joy.
More recently Aysia has been, with her own free will and without my encouragement, approaching friendly looking people with my iPad in her hands as if it were a menu. She acts like a server and asks them what they would like to eat, sometimes even when we are not in a restaurant. She tells them about the specials, the You Tubes Over Easy, the Facebook Scramble, the Huffington Post Cereal. She reads my apps and riffs on them. All the world's a stage. So precious.
I am of the opinion that seriousness is highly overrated, and that when we are in touch with our true nature, we just can't help but become childlike, lighthearted beings with a great sense of humor. We may not be clever with words, or theatrical at restaurants. But each of us at our core is as fun-loving as a dolphin, as mischievous as a monkey. In moments when fear is absent, the Divine Comedy appears, and whether you are in the audience or on the stage, there is great joy and laughter to be had.
Scott Grace, also called the Spiritual Dr. Seuss, is a conscious comedian and transformational troubadour. Also a life coach by day, offering sessions via phone or Skype. Read more about his coaching practice at Intuitive Life Coaching Jump Starts & Tune Ups or schedule a session at 415 721 2954, or email at info@scottsongs.com
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
An Experience on a NYC Subway that Blew my Mind and Opened my Heart
It was hot last week in NYC, and my daughter and I were there visiting relatives. We got on a subway car that happened to not have air conditioning. It was super hot. People were complaining. I immediately got mischievous, pretending to ask for money from fellow passengers to raise funds to fix the subway's air conditioner.
A soldier dressed for active duty was smiling from ear to ear. He must have been extra hot and bothered in his uniform, but he did not seem so. He was appreciating my attempt at lightening the atmosphere and was giving me more eye contact and positive regard than I was accustomed to receiving in that environment.
Suddenly he shocked me and my daughter by blurting out, “Aren’t you Scott Grace?” When I said yes he launched into a rampage of appreciation for me and my YouTube videos, especially the EFT tapping videos I had put up.
He said they had helped him tremendously and were constant companions on his journey. I was so touched I began tearing up right there in the subway. I gave him a big hug in the oppressive heat, in full view of the other passengers, and thanked him for reminding me who I am and the value of what I do. I was so glad my daughter was there, taking in every aspect of this delightful encounter.
I asked him to tell me a bit about his adventures in the Army, and he did so generously. Brennan was his name, and he told me he felt guided to join the service to serve, to bring light and love into a system that could use it. He was a student of A Course in Miracles, and practiced his lessons faithfully every day.
He emailed me recently and said, "I thought about you today in the field when I thought I had a million problems and I remembered that nothing is wrong. I always forget I'm being held and that's ok too. I love you Sir and you don't have to change.”
Wow. I needed to hear that. Remembering that I don't need to change changes everything! And he called me Sir!
Brennan, I salute you, and thank you for your service. And yes, I will continue to put up YouTubes and serve through my own particular mission, which is to have fun comforting the disturbed and disturbing the comfortable through creativity, playfulness, and love. And to do so with gentleness and ease.... at ease, soldier!
I’ve had my doubts about the time, energy and money that I’ve put into putting up YouTubes. I sometimes think it’s not worth it, and get dis-couraged (removed from my courage). And then along comes Brennan, an angel in uniform, to remind me that those videos are making a difference and to keep up the good works.
And so I will.
Today I am sharing with you a video of me working with a 9/11 Rescue Worker, a man who was kind enough to let the process be videoed in the hope that it will help others. He was a first responder to the World Trade Center, and was carrying around some emotional and physical baggage that he was ready to let go of. May his vulnerability and commitment to go for a healing inspire you to keep going for yours. As one of my songs says, “We all are at ground zero, and each one plays a part. There still are many trapped inside their hearts.”
Here it is: 911 Rescuer Goes for a Healing
I dedicate it to all us lightworkers who have the courage, in the name of service, to bring light and love to some tough places, whether it be the U.S. Military, your own personal World Trade Center, or an August NYC subway car without air conditioning.
I Am The Light of the World
- A Course in Miracles
Scott Grace, also called the Spiritual Dr. Seuss, is a levity specialist and transformational troubadour that is also a life coach by day, and does sessions via phone or Skype. He can be reached at www.scottsongs.com
A soldier dressed for active duty was smiling from ear to ear. He must have been extra hot and bothered in his uniform, but he did not seem so. He was appreciating my attempt at lightening the atmosphere and was giving me more eye contact and positive regard than I was accustomed to receiving in that environment.
Suddenly he shocked me and my daughter by blurting out, “Aren’t you Scott Grace?” When I said yes he launched into a rampage of appreciation for me and my YouTube videos, especially the EFT tapping videos I had put up.
He said they had helped him tremendously and were constant companions on his journey. I was so touched I began tearing up right there in the subway. I gave him a big hug in the oppressive heat, in full view of the other passengers, and thanked him for reminding me who I am and the value of what I do. I was so glad my daughter was there, taking in every aspect of this delightful encounter.
I asked him to tell me a bit about his adventures in the Army, and he did so generously. Brennan was his name, and he told me he felt guided to join the service to serve, to bring light and love into a system that could use it. He was a student of A Course in Miracles, and practiced his lessons faithfully every day.
He emailed me recently and said, "I thought about you today in the field when I thought I had a million problems and I remembered that nothing is wrong. I always forget I'm being held and that's ok too. I love you Sir and you don't have to change.”
Wow. I needed to hear that. Remembering that I don't need to change changes everything! And he called me Sir!
Brennan, I salute you, and thank you for your service. And yes, I will continue to put up YouTubes and serve through my own particular mission, which is to have fun comforting the disturbed and disturbing the comfortable through creativity, playfulness, and love. And to do so with gentleness and ease.... at ease, soldier!
I’ve had my doubts about the time, energy and money that I’ve put into putting up YouTubes. I sometimes think it’s not worth it, and get dis-couraged (removed from my courage). And then along comes Brennan, an angel in uniform, to remind me that those videos are making a difference and to keep up the good works.
And so I will.
Today I am sharing with you a video of me working with a 9/11 Rescue Worker, a man who was kind enough to let the process be videoed in the hope that it will help others. He was a first responder to the World Trade Center, and was carrying around some emotional and physical baggage that he was ready to let go of. May his vulnerability and commitment to go for a healing inspire you to keep going for yours. As one of my songs says, “We all are at ground zero, and each one plays a part. There still are many trapped inside their hearts.”
Here it is: 911 Rescuer Goes for a Healing
I dedicate it to all us lightworkers who have the courage, in the name of service, to bring light and love to some tough places, whether it be the U.S. Military, your own personal World Trade Center, or an August NYC subway car without air conditioning.
I Am The Light of the World
- A Course in Miracles
Scott Grace, also called the Spiritual Dr. Seuss, is a levity specialist and transformational troubadour that is also a life coach by day, and does sessions via phone or Skype. He can be reached at www.scottsongs.com
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Enjoying Fear, Enjoying Life, and Riding Rollercoasters!
By Scott Grace
That’s my daughter and I on a roller coaster this past weekend in Santa Cruz.
As a child, I used to love roller coasters. I spent most of my adult life avoiding them. What happened?
In my thirties, when staying in my comfort zone was paramount, I went to an amusement park with some friends. They coaxed me (post-adolescent peer pressure) to get on a rollercoaster that challenged both my fear of heights and my biological ability to retain ownership of the contents of my stomach. I believe the technical term is “throw-up ride.” A bunch of young kids were on it too, and as the ride went up, way up, they were laughing, screaming and having great fun.
I wasn’t. My belly knotted in protest, and I was dizzy with fear. Suddenly, the ride went straight down. Fast. I hated every moment and wondered why anyone would pay money for an experience like this. I noticed that the younger kids screamed all the way down, and were totally loving it. What had I missed? What did they know that I wasn’t hip to?
This year my six year old daughter convinced me to ride all kinds of scary rides with her. I said yes mostly to please her, but also to give myself the chance to overcome some fear.
So here I am sitting down with her. She is beaming with joy and excitement. Me too, until I started looking up and contemplating what I had gotten myself into. The safety bar locked into place, but somehow I did not feel safe. We started going up at a snail’s pace, agonizingly slow. My knees began shaking. Panic gripped me. What had I gotten myself into? Damn my codependent tendencies! There was no turning back, and I was dreading it.
Just as we reached the highest point and were about to rapidly descend, Holy Spirit spoke and gave me the key to enjoying rollercoasters. The still, small voice was quite large and commanding: “Scream, Scott, scream! Express yourself! Enjoy the fear!”
I started making strange and interesting sounds at the very top of my lungs. I threw a primal tantrum and held nothing back. Very quickly, my fear transmuted to a tingling excitement. Laughter bubbled up and out. My need to be on the ground (and in control) dissolved into trust and exhilaration. Whee! I loved it so much, I wanted to ride again.
Perhaps the presence of fear can be a sign that we are courageously buying a ticket to the roller coaster of change, saying yes to the ride’s ups and downs and not paying allegiance to our ego’s plan to keep us small, grounded, safe, secure and unchallenged. Perhaps fear plays an accompanying role in any choice for greater aliveness, passion and healing. And, perhaps, it would behoove us to rediscover that childlike ability to accept and enjoy fear … deeply breathing, tingling, trembling and, yes, screaming at times.
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” I would take it a step further. We have nothing to fear. Not even fear. Enjoying ourselves while trembling is a wondrous step in the evolution of becoming free of fear.
I feel a passion to move, and to keep on moving. I’ve been around long enough to know that staying in one predictable place is not only undesirable, but downright impossible. We are always moving, changing and growing. Riding the roller coaster is what we signed up for on this planet. It’s non-negotiable. The more we say yes to the ride, the more we enjoy ourselves.
I wish you great delight in the amusement park. Enjoy the fear. Give yourself permission to scream. Have fun!
Scott Grace, also called the Spiritual Dr. Seuss, is a keynote speaker and transformational troubadour that is also a life coach by day, and does sessions via phone, Facetime or Skype. Read more about his coaching practice at www.scottsongs.com, schedule a session at 415 721 2954, or email at info@scottsongs.com
As a child, I used to love roller coasters. I spent most of my adult life avoiding them. What happened?
In my thirties, when staying in my comfort zone was paramount, I went to an amusement park with some friends. They coaxed me (post-adolescent peer pressure) to get on a rollercoaster that challenged both my fear of heights and my biological ability to retain ownership of the contents of my stomach. I believe the technical term is “throw-up ride.” A bunch of young kids were on it too, and as the ride went up, way up, they were laughing, screaming and having great fun.
I wasn’t. My belly knotted in protest, and I was dizzy with fear. Suddenly, the ride went straight down. Fast. I hated every moment and wondered why anyone would pay money for an experience like this. I noticed that the younger kids screamed all the way down, and were totally loving it. What had I missed? What did they know that I wasn’t hip to?
This year my six year old daughter convinced me to ride all kinds of scary rides with her. I said yes mostly to please her, but also to give myself the chance to overcome some fear.
So here I am sitting down with her. She is beaming with joy and excitement. Me too, until I started looking up and contemplating what I had gotten myself into. The safety bar locked into place, but somehow I did not feel safe. We started going up at a snail’s pace, agonizingly slow. My knees began shaking. Panic gripped me. What had I gotten myself into? Damn my codependent tendencies! There was no turning back, and I was dreading it.
Just as we reached the highest point and were about to rapidly descend, Holy Spirit spoke and gave me the key to enjoying rollercoasters. The still, small voice was quite large and commanding: “Scream, Scott, scream! Express yourself! Enjoy the fear!”
I started making strange and interesting sounds at the very top of my lungs. I threw a primal tantrum and held nothing back. Very quickly, my fear transmuted to a tingling excitement. Laughter bubbled up and out. My need to be on the ground (and in control) dissolved into trust and exhilaration. Whee! I loved it so much, I wanted to ride again.
Perhaps the presence of fear can be a sign that we are courageously buying a ticket to the roller coaster of change, saying yes to the ride’s ups and downs and not paying allegiance to our ego’s plan to keep us small, grounded, safe, secure and unchallenged. Perhaps fear plays an accompanying role in any choice for greater aliveness, passion and healing. And, perhaps, it would behoove us to rediscover that childlike ability to accept and enjoy fear … deeply breathing, tingling, trembling and, yes, screaming at times.
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” I would take it a step further. We have nothing to fear. Not even fear. Enjoying ourselves while trembling is a wondrous step in the evolution of becoming free of fear.
I feel a passion to move, and to keep on moving. I’ve been around long enough to know that staying in one predictable place is not only undesirable, but downright impossible. We are always moving, changing and growing. Riding the roller coaster is what we signed up for on this planet. It’s non-negotiable. The more we say yes to the ride, the more we enjoy ourselves.
I wish you great delight in the amusement park. Enjoy the fear. Give yourself permission to scream. Have fun!
Scott Grace, also called the Spiritual Dr. Seuss, is a keynote speaker and transformational troubadour that is also a life coach by day, and does sessions via phone, Facetime or Skype. Read more about his coaching practice at www.scottsongs.com, schedule a session at 415 721 2954, or email at info@scottsongs.com
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
The Wisdom of I Don't Know
The Dalai Lama is famous for answering the deep questions people throw at him by saying, “I don’t know,” and then laughing uproariously. He’s completely at ease with his not knowing. Wise fellow.
Recently I had a few dates with someone. It’s the first woman I asked out since the ending of a ten year relationship a year and a half ago, unless I count the few dates I had six months out, which served the mighty purpose of reminding me that I was not remotely ready to date.
I shared the news with a close friend, and he asked me, “What’s your intuition say? Do you have a sense if this could become long term?”
Interesting question. My answer? Three words:
"I don’t know.”
Upon hindsight, I would have liked to laugh uproariously and then add: "It’s really none of my business. When a movie is beginning, I don’t want my intuition to whisper what will happen in the middle or the end of the movie. I want to let let the story unfold. And by the way, I have a wee bit of trouble hearing a still, small voice when gonads and romantic possibilities are at play."
My ego wants instant soulmate connection, just add water, but instant anything is like junk food thrown in a microwave… it may feel and taste hot and great going down, but when it is digested, assuming it is digestible, is it really good for you in the long run? I think there is something to the art of dating….practicing restraint, practicing holding onto yourself, getting comfortable with the not knowing.
My experience of not knowing was all pervading in college. I did not declare a major. There was a label for people like me. Undecided. I did not like that. It made me squirm. I was feeling so much PRESSURE to decide, pressure from my peers, professors, and especially my parents. Here I was seventeen years of age, and supposedly all set to figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life and commit to it. After giving it a college try for two years I decided to take a break from school and major in having life experiences, making huge mistakes, and seeing some of the world. Thirty five years later, I’m still doing it, and still getting quite an education!
While I was in college, being UNDECIDED meant I got to take all the cool and interesting courses that popped out at me, from New World Imaginations to The Gospel According to Zen. This was at the University of Buffalo, which was labelled the Berkeley of the East during the Vietnam War, as it was a hub for political and social protest and consciousness expansion. Some of the older professors were still hippies, activists, and meditators. One teacher, who taught Death and Dying, was a new student of A Course in Miracles, as was I. She and I had some fabulous extracurricular conversations about the spiritual path we both were starting out on. The thirty year age difference between us melted away as we connected as fellow students and seekers on a level playing field, thanks to the shared humility of I Don’t Know.
A Course in Miracles first seeks to get us to take out the garbage, empty our minds, and face and embrace our not knowing, which is a pre-requisite for acquiring wisdom. Some of the early lessons include: I Do Not Know What Anything Is For, I Do Not Perceive My Own Best Interests, I Do Not Understand Anything I See, and I Am Never Upset For The Reason I Think. If you are looking for ego confidence, a stronger self-image, or clarity of direction, Miracles is not your course. It will drive you nuts.
Usually at the beginning of a coaching session I ask the client what they want to accomplish by the end of the hour. Clarity is a popular intention. People love clarity. Who doesn’t want to see where you are going? It makes driving so much easier! But sometimes it is not a request, but a demand. Demanding clarity can be fear’s strategy of pushing to make things happen, to feel secure and safe by being in control. And that usually backfires. My goal is learning to release fear and feel safe in the magic of the mist, the beauty of the fog. If I embrace the mystery and don’t rush or push things, the sun will shine on through and bring me what I need. If cultivating a deep trust in the universe is your goal, and it sure is mine, we can skip clarity and go directly to affirming: I Don’t Know, I Don’t Need To Know, and When I Need To Know I Will, in Perfect Divine Timing!
Bob Mandel, in his book Money Mantras, affirms: Since God is the unknown, the more I know I don’t know, the closer I am to God.
I suppose for some hanging out in uncertainty is avoidance of movement, keeping fears at bay, stagnant chi. If that is your case, please stop reading this at once and go make a decision, any decision, and dive into it. Any decision is better than no decision when you are suffering from chronic paralysis caused by over-analysis. Unblock the chi and movement will replace constipation.
For me, being undecided in college was authentic, real, gritty, and opened me to a feast of an education.
And for all of us enrolled here at Earth University, we are practicing making friends with the unknown, and maybe even enjoying it, the way you would enjoy the unfolding of a really good movie, knowing that whatever happens on the projection screen, you will leave the theatre safe and whole, lights on, darkness vanished, and laughing uproariously!
As my friend Jana Stanfield says in one of her songs:
I’m not lost, I am exploring
Life is an adventure worth enjoying
Though I may not know where I’m going
I am not lost, I am exploring
I am not lost, I am exploring
Scott Grace is a life coach who serves worldwide and does sessions via phone or Skype. Read more about his coaching practice at Intuitive Life Coaching Jump Starts & Tune Ups or schedule a free intro session through email at info@scottsongs.com
Recently I had a few dates with someone. It’s the first woman I asked out since the ending of a ten year relationship a year and a half ago, unless I count the few dates I had six months out, which served the mighty purpose of reminding me that I was not remotely ready to date.
I shared the news with a close friend, and he asked me, “What’s your intuition say? Do you have a sense if this could become long term?”
Interesting question. My answer? Three words:
"I don’t know.”
Upon hindsight, I would have liked to laugh uproariously and then add: "It’s really none of my business. When a movie is beginning, I don’t want my intuition to whisper what will happen in the middle or the end of the movie. I want to let let the story unfold. And by the way, I have a wee bit of trouble hearing a still, small voice when gonads and romantic possibilities are at play."
My ego wants instant soulmate connection, just add water, but instant anything is like junk food thrown in a microwave… it may feel and taste hot and great going down, but when it is digested, assuming it is digestible, is it really good for you in the long run? I think there is something to the art of dating….practicing restraint, practicing holding onto yourself, getting comfortable with the not knowing.
My experience of not knowing was all pervading in college. I did not declare a major. There was a label for people like me. Undecided. I did not like that. It made me squirm. I was feeling so much PRESSURE to decide, pressure from my peers, professors, and especially my parents. Here I was seventeen years of age, and supposedly all set to figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life and commit to it. After giving it a college try for two years I decided to take a break from school and major in having life experiences, making huge mistakes, and seeing some of the world. Thirty five years later, I’m still doing it, and still getting quite an education!
While I was in college, being UNDECIDED meant I got to take all the cool and interesting courses that popped out at me, from New World Imaginations to The Gospel According to Zen. This was at the University of Buffalo, which was labelled the Berkeley of the East during the Vietnam War, as it was a hub for political and social protest and consciousness expansion. Some of the older professors were still hippies, activists, and meditators. One teacher, who taught Death and Dying, was a new student of A Course in Miracles, as was I. She and I had some fabulous extracurricular conversations about the spiritual path we both were starting out on. The thirty year age difference between us melted away as we connected as fellow students and seekers on a level playing field, thanks to the shared humility of I Don’t Know.
A Course in Miracles first seeks to get us to take out the garbage, empty our minds, and face and embrace our not knowing, which is a pre-requisite for acquiring wisdom. Some of the early lessons include: I Do Not Know What Anything Is For, I Do Not Perceive My Own Best Interests, I Do Not Understand Anything I See, and I Am Never Upset For The Reason I Think. If you are looking for ego confidence, a stronger self-image, or clarity of direction, Miracles is not your course. It will drive you nuts.
Usually at the beginning of a coaching session I ask the client what they want to accomplish by the end of the hour. Clarity is a popular intention. People love clarity. Who doesn’t want to see where you are going? It makes driving so much easier! But sometimes it is not a request, but a demand. Demanding clarity can be fear’s strategy of pushing to make things happen, to feel secure and safe by being in control. And that usually backfires. My goal is learning to release fear and feel safe in the magic of the mist, the beauty of the fog. If I embrace the mystery and don’t rush or push things, the sun will shine on through and bring me what I need. If cultivating a deep trust in the universe is your goal, and it sure is mine, we can skip clarity and go directly to affirming: I Don’t Know, I Don’t Need To Know, and When I Need To Know I Will, in Perfect Divine Timing!
Bob Mandel, in his book Money Mantras, affirms: Since God is the unknown, the more I know I don’t know, the closer I am to God.
I suppose for some hanging out in uncertainty is avoidance of movement, keeping fears at bay, stagnant chi. If that is your case, please stop reading this at once and go make a decision, any decision, and dive into it. Any decision is better than no decision when you are suffering from chronic paralysis caused by over-analysis. Unblock the chi and movement will replace constipation.
For me, being undecided in college was authentic, real, gritty, and opened me to a feast of an education.
And for all of us enrolled here at Earth University, we are practicing making friends with the unknown, and maybe even enjoying it, the way you would enjoy the unfolding of a really good movie, knowing that whatever happens on the projection screen, you will leave the theatre safe and whole, lights on, darkness vanished, and laughing uproariously!
As my friend Jana Stanfield says in one of her songs:
I’m not lost, I am exploring
Life is an adventure worth enjoying
Though I may not know where I’m going
I am not lost, I am exploring
I am not lost, I am exploring
Scott Grace is a life coach who serves worldwide and does sessions via phone or Skype. Read more about his coaching practice at Intuitive Life Coaching Jump Starts & Tune Ups or schedule a free intro session through email at info@scottsongs.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)